Last Day
by Moriarty's Cat
Summary: The warmth of the sun on his face made him smile, the gentle sea breeze ruffling his hair sent a pleasant tingle down the length of his spine and the very fact he could breathe without the air burning his lungs made him want to dance with joy. He would've done too if it wasn't for the dark shadow looming over him... *warning: Major Character Death*


**Been a little while, the muse is very reluctant and un-inspired lately... but here's a one-shot I've been playing with for a little while. Tissues at the ready *warning: Major character death* **

_If this was the last day of your life..._

Matt inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, committing the sensation to memory before opening them again and glancing around.

It was almost ten years since he'd last been in this spot; he'd vowed he would only return if his mission was a success because he couldn't bear the thought of seeing this place destroyed. It had changed very little since the day he had stepped through the anomaly with his father and experienced his first breath of fresh, clean air.

A few months ago he'd told Abby he had thought he was in the garden of Eden when he arrived, and even now it still felt like that. The warmth of the sun on his face made him smile, the gentle sea breeze ruffling his hair sent a pleasant tingle down the length of his spine and the very fact he could breathe without the air burning his lungs made him want to dance with joy. He would've done too if it wasn't for the dark shadow looming over him.

He glanced at the device on his wrist and sighed. He only had just under an hour left and the thought of what was to come filled him with something he'd never felt before. Fear. He'd been afraid of course, afraid he would fail, afraid he would let everyone down, afraid he'd got it all wrong... but he'd never experienced true fear like this before and there was nothing he could do about it. The date had been set many years ago when he had had no say in what would happen to him.

He was satisfied that everything he was leaving behind had been organised so that everyone would know exactly what to do after he'd gone. The last thing he wanted was to have the people he cared about wondering what to do and whether it was what he would want. There would be no doubt about his wishes once they opened their emails tomorrow.

Settling himself down on a nearby rock, Matt replayed a number of conversations he'd had in the last day or so. Had he said everything he needed to? The seeds of ideas had been planted in Lester's mind to allow Connor to begin his research again. "He's more aware than anyone else now, and Abby will keep him in line. Neither of them will make the same mistakes again," he'd said. The air had been cleared between him and Becker after they'd clashed yet again over procedures and some friendly advice had been given regarding his relationship with Jess. "Give her a chance, life's too short to dance around each other."

His thoughts were interrupted by the crunching of car tyres on the gravel road nearby. He looked up and then frowned. It was Abby. He watched her park up beside his car and then took a deep breath as he watched her stride up the pathway towards him.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked when she was close enough.

"I had Jess track your car at the ARC."

"You and Jess are spying on me now?" He was cursing himself inside that he'd forgotten that all the vehicles had electronic tags. "Am I not allowed to have a peaceful Sunday drive out to the coast without being checked on?"

"I was worried about you. After your little speech last night..." She sat herself down next to him and reached for his hand, but he moved it away and wouldn't meet her gaze.

He'd spent the evening at Abby and Connor's, finally accepting one of their many invites to have dinner with them. It had been pleasant, and he wished he'd done this sooner. After dinner, he'd managed to steer the conversation to where he needed it to be. It had been rehearsed many times in his head and once he started it flowed easily.

"It wasn't a speech," he responded. "I just... I thought it needed to be said. You and Connor have been engaged for months now and you're not even wearing a proper ring, let alone making plans for your future. Life is too short, Abby. I'm not sure what it was I said that makes you worried about me, but there's no need."

"That's what Connor said last night, but I couldn't get it out of my head. I didn't sleep at all and then when I spoke to Jess this morning and she said you'd been weird with her too..." She paused, and then took a deep breath. "Matt, whatever it is. Whatever the problem. Nothing is so bad that you have to end it like this. We're all here for you and..."

Matt let out a laugh and shook his head. "You think I came here to commit suicide? I thought you knew me, Abby. If I wanted to kill myself, do you really think I'd just throw myself off a cliff and take the risk that it wouldn't work?"

He watched Abby's cheeks redden and then her face change from embarrassment to anger and then an emotion he rarely saw in the young woman. She was blinking away tears. He softened, realising that perhaps he'd been a little harsh. She'd said she hadn't slept, she'd been genuinely concerned about him, concerned enough to seek his whereabouts.

"Abby, I'm sorry." He took her hand and squeezed it, realising in that moment that of all the people he'd met in this time, Abby was the one person he couldn't hide the truth from. He at least owed her an explanation in person, not just the almost clinical explanation he'd written in his email to everyone. "Come with me nearer the edge and I'll tell you everything."

He stood, still holding her hand, and began to walk slowly towards the edge of the cliff, stopping about a metre or so away. "Look around you, Abby. This was my first glimpse of the 21st century, my garden of Eden."

"Your anomaly opened here?"

He nodded. "It couldn't be any further from what I left behind me, eh?"

"Is this what this is all about?" Abby's eyes widened. "The anomaly is about to reopen and you're going through back to your own time? You _were_ saying goodbye last night..."

"Even if the anomaly was going to reopen, the place I came from doesn't exist now that we destroyed New Dawn. I couldn't go back... and that's partly why I'm here." He rolled up his sleeve and turned his wrist so that Abby could see the device fixed to his wrist. He knew she'd seen it before, the day she confronted him about being from the future; the day he told her about his mission and the devastating future he was trying to prevent.

Abby studied it for a moment and blinked before looking up at Matt. "It's counting down," she said quietly. "To what?"

"My death."

She grasped his wrist and pulled his arm to her, staring in horror at the display. Fourteen minutes and twenty four seconds... twenty three... twenty two... "You're going to die when this reaches zero? How? Can we stop it?"

He placed his free hand on her cheek and lifted her face to look at him. "When I was selected for this mission, I was no more than a child. Everything about my ultimate fate was decided for me and neither I or my father had any say in it.

The elders decided that, if I failed, I probably wouldn't be able to live with myself... and if I succeeded, not being able to return to my home would probably be too hard to cope with. So they filled by body with implants containing a deadly chemical connected together through my central nervous system to be activated at a specified time."

He looked into Abby's horrified eyes, watching her battle against her emotions and lose. She blinked rapidly and then tears filled her eyes. "Surely it can be removed?" she finally said, her hands shaking as she ran them over his arm to the device.

"Don't you think I tried?" he said. "Those aren't scars from the surgery you see on my arm. They're the result of my various attempts to get rid of it. But then I gave up. Even if I could get the timer off, the poisons are still inside me and the technology to remove or deactivate the implants without killing me in the process doesn't exist yet."

Abby angrily wiped her tear stained cheeks and took a deep breath. "I can't believe you're being so calm about this!"

"I've had most of my life to get used to the idea and unlike many people, at least I've had time to say my goodbyes and get all my affairs in order."

"This is why you pushed Emily away, isn't it?" Abby sniffed, still struggling to keep her tears at bay. "We all wondered what had gone wrong with you two."

Matt just nodded. His relationship with Emily had been a concern to him. The thought of leaving her behind grieving for him after everything she had already been through in her life was too much. Figuring it would be easier all round if he ended things before she got too attached, he'd told her that his feelings for her were not the romantic ones she wanted and he couldn't give her the love she craved. She'd left a few days later with the new identity that the Home Office sorted out for her and he'd not heard from her since. There was a hand-written letter addressed to her tucked away in a drawer at the ARC, and Jess's email had instructions on where to find it. He knew Jess had stayed in touch with her and he hoped Emily would at least read what he had to say and understand why he'd had to do what he did.

"I had to do this alone," he finally said, looking away from Abby and facing the horizon. "Couldn't let anyone get too emotionally involved."

Abby stood in silence for a few long moments, her own eyes scanning the horizon too as if searching for something, though quite what she didn't know. "I'm sorry. I've messed it up for you haven't I? I don't think anyone should die alone... but if that's what you want, then I'll respect that." She placed her hand on his shoulder briefly and then turned back to the pathway. "These chemicals... how long do they take to... how long before you...?" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"I don't know. It could be instantaneous or it could take hours."

"Then I'll go away for a little while and come back." She looked at the timer again and tried to swallow down her tears. There was little more than four minutes left. Unable to hold back any longer, she flung her arms around Matt and sobbed. For a moment, Matt was stunned. He'd not expected such an emotional response from anyone, let alone Abby. Then he felt that this was exactly what he needed after all, and folded his arms around her, savouring this rare moment of connection that he'd spent most of his life avoiding.

"I should go," Abby finally said, though the words were barely audible. Matt released her and she turned away, beginning to walk back down the path to where the cars were parked. He watched her, willing her to turn around for one final connection before his life faded away completely, but he knew she wouldn't.

She'd almost reached the car when it hit him. He couldn't do this alone after all.

"Abby!"

She stopped walking but didn't turn.

"Abby, please. I can't... I don't want..."

She was at his side moments later, encouraging him to sit back down on the rock and then taking his hand. "You were right," he whispered. "Being alone... I'm scared."

"Then I'll stay with you until..." Abby couldn't say the word without breaking down, but she knew she needed to hold it together for Matt's sake. For him to actually admit he was scared was a huge thing, and in his final few minutes she at least owed him her strength. "Come closer," she whispered, and he rested his head on her shoulder. Abby wasn't one for intimacy except with Connor, but if this was what Matt needed then she would cope with the situation.

"Talk to me," Matt said.

"What about?"

"Your wedding plans. And afterwards. What do you want from married life?"

Abby sighed. "I've never really allowed myself to think too far ahead. My life always had a habit of disappointing me if I made plans."

"But you must have thought about your own wedding at some point? Don't all little girls dream about being a princess for the day and marrying their handsome prince?"

"My childhood was spent keeping my brother out of trouble and dodging the various boyfriends mum brought home. I didn't have time to think about stuff like that. Connor on the other hand... I think he's hoping for a full blown white wedding in a church with everything that goes with that."

Matt closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Abby's voice as she began to talk about the kind of wedding she believed Connor wanted. He wasn't really listening to her actual words, but the sound of another person's voice was comforting as the timer reached zero. He felt the exact moment the implants activated and the pain made him gasp out.

Abby paused and saw him grimace. She too knew the time had come and there wasn't anything she could do. Reaching her arm around his shoulder, she drew him in closer and stroked his hair.

"Keep talking, Abby. You were supposed to be telling me about your plans for married life."

"Personally, I'd just like a long, healthy and happy life with..." Her throat tightened. "Sorry, that was a bit insensitive of me."

"I want to hear it. Believe me, it helps."

"I'd be happy to just be able to spend the rest of my life with Connor. If we were lucky enough to be blessed with children, then that would add to our happiness. Connor'll be a great dad."

"He will."

Matt tried to focus on the horizon now. The blue of the sky meeting the blue of the sea many miles away. The air was still, and save for the sound of Abby's voice there was silence. Suddenly the fear of dying seem to leave him and he felt at peace. Listening to Abby talk about her plans made him realise everything he had achieved. Abby herself had said that she didn't plan ahead, yet here she was talking about her future because she could. If he had failed in his mission, she wouldn't have a future to be thinking about. By now, the food supplies would be running low and she'd have been out there with everyone else desperately trying to protect what little she had.

Yes, he had every reason to be proud of what he'd done and there wasn't anything else he could do. The toxins in his blood were making him feel drowsy and he couldn't focus now. Abby's voice was still there, but he couldn't make out what she was saying. It didn't matter. He was glad she had tracked him down and that he'd called her back.

Sensing he only had moments left, he gripped Abby's hand hard. She had stopped talking and he felt the warmth of her body enveloping his just as he felt his chest tighten and the last gasp of clean, fresh air filled his lungs.

##

Abby had no idea how long she'd remained there, cradling his lifeless body in her arms. She had let her tears flow freely, allowing herself to grieve for a man she had considered a good friend and had hoped he'd be a part of hers and Connor's life for many years. It was the insistent buzz of her phone that brought her back to reality, a flurry of text messages from Connor wondering where she was. She had had her moment. Now she had to let the others have theirs. She dialled Connor's number.

"Abby, where on earth are you? I saw your note and ..."

"Matt's dead." Saying the words made it seem finally real and it hurt. There was silence on the other end of the phone and for a second she thought the connection had dropped. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes." She heard Connor sniff and swallow down a sob before he spoke again. "What you said last night... you were right?"

"Sort of. I wish I wasn't."

"Where are you? Are you with... I'll come and get you."

She gave him the directions and ended the call. Her eyes tried to focus on the same spot that Matt had been looking and smiled, understanding why he had chosen this spot to spend his final moments. A peaceful and tranquil scene that would not have existed if it wasn't for him, and she would make sure it stayed. Matt's life, and death, would be honoured by the whole team ensuring they protected the earth from those that would use the anomalies for their own evil intent.

"Good night, Matt," she whispered, and waited for Connor.


End file.
